December 2010
7 posts
my christmas present for myself
a car!
well. as of monday, it should be in my hands.
and i am so, so relieved.
mind you…i need to learn how to drive stick shift so i can, y’know, drive.
but! this is a relief. and i am so grateful for my dad’s patience and assistance. and his willingness to teach me to drive again.
and, knock on wood, i think we found a really great deal. like, this car should last me a...
pain, pain, lot of pain
i have been sneezing non-stop since march, roughly. not really an exaggeration, you can ask the manfriend, who will verify - once a day, i have to cease all conversation so i can sneeze about ten times in a row.
so i finally caved and bought a nasal spray. i hate those things. narsty.
AND THE LITTLE PUNK HAD MINTY SHIT IN IT.
so now my nose hurts.
and i’m grumpy that the box said nothing...
january 4
v returns
i shall geek out
you're my only hope
chopbouie:
Apparently, Tumblr lets you recommend blogs for particular categories. If you could take the time to recommend mine for the “food” category, I would appreciate it.
Link.
brief conversation with myself this morning
grown-up self: alright. alarm is going off. we should get out of bed.
tiny, petulant self: erm, no. did you SEE the weather prediction for today?
grown-up self: yes. we will live.
tiny, petulant self: THEY SAY IT WILL BE IN THE TEENS AND TWENTIES AND THERE IS A WIND CHILL ADVISORY.
grown-up self: stop yelling. see, we’re in the shower now. you failed.
tiny, petulant self: do you have...
November 2010
9 posts
if i hear one more christmas song, i will punch a reindeer.
this serves as a warning, retailers.
what happens when you leave tess alone with the tv
right now, i swear this is how scary movies begin.
girl, alone in house, it’s night, and it is pouring rain outside.
obviously it is raining outside. if it were raining inside, y’all would need to come put me in a padded cell.
anyhoodle.
pouring rain. dark. ALONE
and i have the tv all to myself
what do i decide to watch?
bones. a show about TERRIFYING scary bad things.
i have...
things i would like in lieu of my car
a griffin
the ability to apparate
a horse
a camel
a wand with which to conjure up a new car
no really, magic would be super helpful now.
freudian slip of the day
a student wrote to me letting me know she is sick and staying home today (yes. keep your germs there, please). i wrote back a quick note, and before i sent it, i luckily caught what i had written.
“Aw, stay home and get a beer!”
yes, i accidentally almost encouraged my undergraduate student to drink herself better. i meant to say “and get better” but my brain is clearly...
open letter to retailers everywhere
please, please, please - do not play christmas music just yet. i used to work in retail, and the rule was “not till after thanksgiving, and even then we ramp it up slowly”.
so. if i hear one more christmas tune in a store, i reserve the right to start screaming.
caffeine alert
because i was super extra nice to the barista this morning (she’s not a morning person, and we both went to the same college, and she was having a crazy busy morning), she gave me an extra shot of espresso in my mocha.
normally it comes with three shots but now it has four!
three plus one equals four
four shots of espresso means that my hands are shaking (i’m not even a third of the...
one reason i love my housemates
we just had an entire conversation about why the tostitos fiesta bowl does not hand out free chips and salsa at the game. and whether or not a doritos sponsored bowl should give out free doritos
October 2010
25 posts
my mom is a nurse, so i like to think that she knows all the answers to my occasional hypochondriac freak-outs. like the time i called her at 11 at night to ask her if she thought the bump on my leg might be cancer OR a blood clot.
my mother is a patient woman, and did not laugh at me or yell at me for waking her up to diagnose me with “clumsiness and tendency to walk into stationary...
3 tags
a sleepy thought
when i write long rambling emails to one of my best friends, i accidentally figure out what my grad school application essay needs to look like.
oh, and then i get teary-eyed because i get all worked up about why i want to be a teacher, and also did i mention i’m sleepy? and should go to bed already? yeah. i should do that.
but seriously. i really and truly cannot wait to be a teacher....
the cuteness, it hurts →
i want a baby sloth, please
1 tag
coffee!
after a two-week hiatus (week one on purpose, week two because i had the plague), coffee and i are back together. and y’all, it feels so right.
if you’ll excuse me, i have to go hug a coffee pot now.
getting over the plague, finally
i’ve been down and out with some hideous cold all week. yesterday i stayed home, slept for 12 glorious hours (thanks, nyquil!) and left my bed about three times. it was amazing, and worth it. i can breathe now, mostly, and my left eye is no longer as poofy from sinus pressure. YAY!
of course, as my cold leaves my system, i have that “i smoke 2 packs a day” cough going on. and a...
incoming self-pity storm
i’m getting sick
i think it’s because fall weather has FINALLY arrived, and my system, used to being at a lovely boiling point for the past, um, four and a half months, is freaked out by the relative cold spell.
also, stress. my immune system probably booked it for a tropical locale where it’s chilling on a hammock on the beach while mojitos are delivered on an hourly basis
my...
today's challenge
i would sell a kidney for a cup of coffee
YAY. but remember kids, psychologists everywhere say caffeine addiction is not a real thing
that is because they hate me.
i’m wearing a ‘my little pony’ band-aid today because i am secretly 5 years old and believe that tiny plastic horses in unnatural colors are AWESOME.
also, i am wearing moccasins from target that barely count as shoes, but are delightfully soft and comfy. so, um, normal clothing choices be damned, i’m wearing my slippers to work.
so this is day…3? of no coffee and i’ve entered a really bizarre phase of caffeine withdrawal
morning: stumbled out of bed and made growling sounds at kitchen appliances
work: relatively productive
lunch: random surge of energy leading to conversation about how, in order to get rich, i just need to prove that eating all the bread you want can make you lose weight. bread diet would...
trick question
i bought a set of shiny, sharp knives today. i also bought a food processor.
which item do you think wounded me grievously while making potato leek soup?
the food processor. in which the blades are nicely hidden inside the machine, and all i do is press a button.
not the knives. not the giant chef’s knife that i used to chop up 3 giant potatoes and 3 giant leeks.
no. as i poured freshly...
2 tags
today is day 2 of tess-without-coffee. a friend suggested that perhaps the fact that caffeine does not reliably wake me up is an indication that my addiction needs to be reined in. she may have a point.
so this week, starting sunday, is my no-coffee week. i have a lovely tea selection, and am hoping that a detox week will…i dunno, reboot me.
we’ll see how long i last before i (a) get...
3 tags
a tale of woe (or, greyhound, we need to chat)
friday night was, um, different. i took the bus from Point A to Point B (Point A being where i live, Point B being where the manfriend lives, and said bus ride being about 3ish hours long, but still way better than me losing my mind in traffic). this is a bus ride i take twice a month, at least, for the past 3 months, and so i’m used to all the weirdnesses that happen on buses. specifically,...
4 tags
3 tags
caffeine addction is a good thing
i’ve been awake since 7:15, if we go by alarm clock standard time.
but if we go by “inexplicably shot out of bed” standard time, it’s more like, i woke up at 5:40 and didn’t properly sleep between then and when my alarm went off and i blindly swatted at it until i found the off switch.
i think it’s because it is colder out, and my system is not sure what to...
3 tags
on growing up, and being old, and birthdays
(it is not my birthday. that title sounds birthday-ish, but is misleading)
today my best friend’s baby brother turns 21. he is all grown-up and dating a girl and at college and now he can drink and oh dear lord i am old now.
my friends’ siblings, you see, are stuck at certain ages in my mind. this boy is permanently 3 years old to me, and a royal pain. he bit me! twice! punk....
true fact of the day
the only reason i bring baked goods into the office is for the ego boost. if it makes my co-workers happy, whatever. as long as they send me gushing emails about how AWESOME i am, i’m good.
ok, not really the ONLY reason. sometimes i bribe them with baked goods in apology for my hideous moods.
happening in the kitchen
tonight? tonight there will be buttermilk cupcakes with chocolate chips and cream cheese frosting.
and there will be champagne
and then there will be pictures of the cupcakes. and all will be well in the world.
or at least, all will be on a sugar high
disconcerting coments
my supervisor asked me if i was feeling okay today, since i didn’t look like myself.
i suspect she can see the crazed gleam of panic in my eyes over my to-do list.
glad to hear that’s visible to everyone.
sunday thoughts
random things making me happy now, in list form, because lists comfort me.
1. this weather. seriously. it is FINALLY fall outside - bright blue skies, merry sun, and cool. i can wear cardigans and scarves now.
2. directly related to the weather: i now have an excuse to buy boots. mmm, boots.
3. one excellent weekend with the manfriend. enough said.
4. puppies. i mean, really. puppies are just...
September 2010
6 posts
things i never learned in college
for starters, how to properly format a (really freaking complex) table in a word document
good morning, world. i will be swearing at my computer and being as stubborn as physically possible while i attempt to replicate the world’s most complicated word document this morning.
stabby. very stabby.
i got “excel for dummies” as a (requested) gift from my parents, and it changed my...
90 ans de vogue: vogue france covers spanning 90... →
SQUEE. the french! and fashion! be still, my heart.
2 tags
this morning's poison
grande (16 oz) dirty chai latte from mermaid express in charlottesville, va
a dirty chai is many things. let’s make a list, ‘cause i love lists
1. it is a chai tea latte with a shot of espresso
2. it is delicious
3. it is fun to order at starbucks, where they apparently never make it, and so give you this look like you’re hitting on them by suggesting you jump to the point in...
3 tags
you can see my other blog, devoted to baking, over here.
you will see that most of it, right now, is my coffee-fueled rambling.
in an effort to be a better baking blogger, i am going to keep my incessant yammering over here on tumblr, and keep my baked goods on wordpress
though right now, to be honest? my post is fueled by mimosas.
anyhow. the basic gist is that sometimes i get a song stuck...