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my mom is a nurse, so i like to think that she knows all the answers to my occasional hypochondriac freak-outs. like the time i called her at 11 at night to ask her if she thought the bump on my leg might be cancer OR a blood clot.
my mother is a patient woman, and did not laugh at me or yell at me for waking her up to diagnose me with “clumsiness and tendency to walk into stationary objects and forget it ever happened”.
today i feel like i met a milestone in that my panicked email to her about “when did i last get a tetanus shot?” and never mentioned my newfound fear of stepping on a nail.
in 6th grade, i totally talked the doctor out of a tetanus shot when i had sliced my finger open on a pair of scissor “because no, no, the scissors were brand-new, and i had a tetanus shot when i was 8 and a rock hit my knee and i had to get stitches!!” yes, i sliced my finger open on a pair of scissors that i had JUST removed from the packaging. and yes, when i was 8, i got two stitches in my knee because a rock shot back from the mower and thwocked into my poor knee. and totally ruined my keds.
i want keds now.
anyhoo. i’ll just be over here, hyped up on krispy kreme donuts and anxiously looking for nails that are just dying to attack my feet.
